Dear mom at the library
I have tried to talk to you a couple of times, but you do not seem interested. Maybe it’s because my baby girl is older than your baby. Today, Zara came to you a couple of times and you gave her the cold shoulder. I did not say anything because, I want my daughter to learn that not everyone will welcome her attention.
I want to tell you that it’s OK. The couple of times we spoke you talked about finding a nanny,and going back to work part time. I know you are stressed out about it as I was. Your baby girl is adorable. She has to wear glasses at a young age, but she rocks them! I can see though that you worry about it. One time I heard another child ask you why your baby wears glasses and you seemed upset. I want you to know that you are doing great. It is not your fault.
I wonder, if to you I look like I have it all figured out. Zara is a very happy, healthy and independent baby. And maybe you see that and wonder how I got lucky.
I want to tell you that I was you at one point. Zara was always small for her age. I always heard comments about how she looked like she was 5 or 6 months old when she was 9 or 10 months. I worried if she would have been taller/bigger if I made more breast milk. I worried about how little she ate. I worried that people judged me when they saw how small she was. I felt it was my fault that I did not make enough milk and she did not eat enough food. Most of my maternity leave I worried. I still worry. I am just better at hiding it.
I want to tell you that I do not have it all together. I wish I could help you through this, but I also know that no one could help me until I was ready to accept the help. So hang in there momma. It will get better. You will still worry but it will be different. Just don’t forget to enjoy the time you have with your baby. Because no matter what I do now, I can’t go back and change the past.
I regret spending so much time worrying about what Zara was eating or not eating rather than just being with her. So stop worrying, and just BE with your little one. Because one day, like me you will look back and regret it. One day you will look back and say, I am a great mother, and I wish could tell the old me that. You are a great mother. Don’t forget that.
Mom who understands what you are going through.