Letter to my daughter: You are 2.5 years old!

Dear Zara

Today you are 2.5 years old! Where did the time go? One minute you were a tiny six pound bundle they placed on my chest and the next thing I know you are singing ‘Bingo’ and running away from me.

The first couple of months of being your mother was tough. My life had changed and I had no control over anything and it was terrifying. I felt alone, but I was never alone, because you were with me. Those times were dark and hazy and I wrote somethings that I feel guilty for but I understand what I was feeling better now.

It wasn’t that I did not want to be a mother, I felt I was incapable of being a mother to you. I have a tumultuous relationship with my own mother and I did not want to follow in her footsteps and disappoint you.

You are my miracle. You opened my heart to a love that is so deep and selfless, that it swallows you whole. Zara, you gave my life a purpose that I thought I would never have.

I am so proud of the little person you are becoming. You are always concerned about papa puggles (our dog) and Cj (our cat). I can see that you have a love of animals. You love to sing and dance and you like to put on little shows for us. You love your little friends and you have a little ‘boy’ friend- baby Nathan. 🙂

You are my whole world Zara and every time you hit a milestone, I am proud and sad at the same time. I am sad because soon you will lose your ‘baby face’ and I miss that face so much! But I know that’s what this parenthood journey is all about.

In my mind’s eye you will always be that little six pound bundle that came screaming into this world and latched on to me. I love you forever my baby Zaza.

Love,

Momma

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