Today you are 2.5 years old! Where did the time go? One minute you were a tiny six pound bundle they placed on my chest and the next thing I know you are singing ‘Bingo’ and running away from me.
The first couple of months of being your mother was tough. My life had changed and I had no control over anything and it was terrifying. I felt alone, but I was never alone, because you were with me. Those times were dark and hazy and I wrote somethings that I feel guilty for but I understand what I was feeling better now.
It wasn’t that I did not want to be a mother, I felt I was incapable of being a mother to you. I have a tumultuous relationship with my own mother and I did not want to follow in her footsteps and disappoint you.
You are my miracle. You opened my heart to a love that is so deep and selfless, that it swallows you whole. Zara, you gave my life a purpose that I thought I would never have.
I am so proud of the little person you are becoming. You are always concerned about papa puggles (our dog) and Cj (our cat). I can see that you have a love of animals. You love to sing and dance and you like to put on little shows for us. You love your little friends and you have a little ‘boy’ friend- baby Nathan. 🙂
You are my whole world Zara and every time you hit a milestone, I am proud and sad at the same time. I am sad because soon you will lose your ‘baby face’ and I miss that face so much! But I know that’s what this parenthood journey is all about.
In my mind’s eye you will always be that little six pound bundle that came screaming into this world and latched on to me. I love you forever my baby Zaza.
Happy birthday my dear baby girl! You are 2 years old today. 2 years ago today at 10pm you came screaming into this world and changed my life forever. I still remember the day you were born as if it was yesterday. I was tired and scared and in so much pain. But I remember the exact moment I heard your cry for the first time and the sense of relief and awe that I felt when they put you on my chest. You were finally here!!
The past 2 years have flown by. You are my big girl now. You tell me every day ‘ I am not a baby’. And it makes me sad to hear you say that because I actually miss the ‘baby’ years.
You are such a smart, caring and kind little person. I am so proud of the person you are becoming. You are stubborn (like your momma), but laid back like your Dada. You can count to 10 and sing your abcs. Your favourite nursery rhyme is Humpty Dumpty. You love Peppa pig and ever since you discovered Peppa, you call us Mummy and Daddy. You don’t like to see anyone get hurt and always ask ‘Are you ok?’. You love your papa Puggles the dog and kitty. I am amazed at how well you can communicate. You surprise me with your energy and positivity. Your laughter makes my heart explode with happiness.
I wish time would slow down a little. It doesn’t matter how much time I spend with you, it is never enough. It hurts me deeply when you hold on to me in the morning and don’t want me to go. I want you to know that everything I do is for you to have a better life. It’s for you to have opportunities and choices. Everyday I can’t wait to come home to you.
I want you to know that being your mommy is the greatest accomplishment of my life. I love you with all my heart and more. I can’t wait to see what the future holds for you.
Recently I had an unsettling comment made on a post of mine. The first time I saw it my heart sank and I felt terrible for the rest of the day. I felt like I was back in high school and a mean girl called me fat. I don’t mind if someone does not agree with what I write about and has an opinion about it. But let’s have a discussion like adults. This was not an opinion. This was meant to be a stab. This was meant to break me.
Initially I didn’t know how to deal with this. I contemplated not writing the blog. But then I thought about my daughter and how would I advice her to handle bullying. I would tell her to handle it with kindness, not anger. I don’t want her to give up because one person doesn’t like her work. So I decided to write this person a letter.
Thank you for reading my blog. The comment you made was very hurtful. I try very hard to write meaningful content. I am a fairly new blogger and I started writing while going through PPD, when my baby was born. Initially I did not share it because I did not want to be judged and I was scared to have comments like yours.
My blog is my safe place. It is where I share details of my life, and my family. I write about things that are important to me, and share tips and tricks that work for me. And I get to connect with people from all over the world that are going through similar situations. Is each piece a masterpiece? No I admit it is not. But I am not aiming for perfection. Because perfection is not real. I am working on being the best of me.
I want you to know that your hurtful comment affected me deeply. But I still want to believe in the good in people. And perhaps you were having a bad day. And sometimes it makes you feel better when someone else feels worse. I forgive you. I hope that you read this and know that your comment makes me strive to work harder, not give up. And for that I want to thank you.