3 Important Lessons I have Learned as a Mother

Motherhood has drastically altered my life, my goals and my aspirations. Pre baby Husna worried about what to wear, where to eat, and where to go on vacation. Post-baby Husna, worries about all that and a thousand things more.

I am still fairly new to the motherhood thing and I am far from being an expert but here are a few lessons I have learned:

  1. Patience does not come in pretty box with a bow. I used to think I was fairly patient. I didn’t mind waiting in line, or waiting for Rj to propose ( that’s whole other story). Then I had Zara and she threw me for a loop. Waiting for a toddler to do anything is like watching paint dry while wanting to gouge my eyes out. It takes us at least 2 hours to do anything! Simple tasks like eating or putting on pants ( for me and Zara) feel like I just ran a marathon.
  2. You will be outsmarted by a toddler. You think you’re smart. You read and you went to school. You had a 4.0 Gpa. Well, you might as well throw all of that out the window. No matter how smart you are you will lose the battle, negotiating with a toddler. They will take your bed, your last piece of chocolate, force you to watch another episode of Peppa, and in the end, you will have no idea how you got there.
  3. Baby LOVE is like no other. Remember when you met your hubby or spouse and you felt like you we’re falling off a cliff but it felt great! Or when you saw your dog for the first time and you looked into it’s eyes and could feel the love. We’ll take all that and multiply it by a billion! And it’s ok you might not feel this right away. But when you do you will know what I am talking about. It’s like your heart, your kidney and your brain ( think essential body organs you need to survive), live outside your body.

I would like to say that I wouldn’t change anything, but there are days that it feels too overwhelming and I just want to worry about what to wear, where to eat or where to go on vacation. I have learned that that’s ok too. After all, I am not superhuman, I am a mom.

Happy Mothers Day mommas! What are some lessons you have learned being a mom?

PS: Follow me on Instagram @husna_theaccidentalmommy I take pictures of food, coffee art, my daughter and pretty Vancouver scenery

Why Vacations are good for your soul

When was the last time you laid in a hammock for two hours, sipping a mimosa reflecting on what you are doing with your life?

Are you happy? Do you feel fulfilled or are you going through the motions?

Vacations for me has always been the perfect time to contemplate and reflect on my life. You need to get rid of the distractions of daily life to truly do this.

When you aren’t thinking of dishes, laundry, and planning meals, your mind frees itself to think about what really matters: YOU

Listening to the waves crashing, the seagulls cackling, and the salty wind blowing through your hair, really opens up your heart and your soul. Close your eyes, think of things that make you happy, are you doing any of that in your ’real’ life?

The point here is once you can remove yourself from your daily burdens, the hope is your mind can look for deeper answers to your life’s journey. Because isn’t that what we are all on this earth for? To look for answers. To look for a purpose. To look for happiness.

This part is easier said than done. The even tougher part is making a plan to change things when you get back to reality.

And at the end of the day that might not happen. Change is hard and it’s scary. When you are lying in a hammock everything seems feasible. And that’s ok. When things get tough its time to book another vacation and reflect on what matters most.

When is your next trip?

PS: Follow me on Instagram @husna_theaccidentalmommy I take pictures of food, coffee art, my daughter and pretty Vancouver scenery

Why we vacation as a family and you should too

Traveling with a toddler can be challenging and trying at times. Listening isn’t something my toddler does best. And you never know how she is going to react on a plane ride (I will be writing a post with some tips), or if she is going to refuse to eat any food while we are away.

But I still think traveling as a family is important. It doesn’t matter if it is road trip for the long weekend, or a week long holiday outside the country. Here is why:

  1. Relax as a family– Vacation momma and Dadda are fun and relaxed. It’s good for your child to see you at your best, and you are at your best when you are not worrying about alarms, daycare drop-offs, and what to make for dinner. Stay out late, play in the sand longer and have that ice cream! Let your child see you throw out those rules.
  2. Make memories– Life is busy and day to day all you focus on is getting through the day to bedtime. Is their time to make memories? Not really. You try to cram that into the weekend and even then it’s tough. But on vacation that’s all you focus on- making memories as a family. When you are old and most likely cranky, you aren’t going to want to remember the dinners you cooked every night, but what you will remember is the time your daughter played in the pool all day with you. This is what makes life worthwhile. Don’t get me wrong, I have nothing against the day to day crap, but I am not going to lie and tell you I enjoy it. Who does?
  3. Travel opens up the world for your child: They become aware that there is whole other world outside of their world. My hope is that this will take her out of her comfort zone, and challenge her to explore. I want my daughter to experience other cultures, languages, and food.
  4. Footage of embarrassing your child as an adult: Take tons of pictures so you can embarrass your child when they get older! Take that naked bum picture in the sand, to hopefully add to the wedding slideshow! Vacations are a great way to capture those embarrassing moments that your child doesn’t want you to take pictures of as an adult.

Do you travel as a family? I would love to hear your reasons for vacationing with kids and tips you have.

Happy Travels!

PS: Follow me on Instagram @husna_theaccidentalmommy I take pictures of food, coffee art, my daughter and pretty Vancouver scenery

Mom’s night out at Hotel Blu Vancouver

Self-care has become a household term recently, especially if you are a mom. Recently, I had a girlfriend come visit me from Montreal. Both of us are busy moms and desperately needed some time to be just ‘us’. We decided to book a night away for a staycation at Hotel Blu and get some much needed ‘girl time’. Neither of us had stayed here before but we loved the location and the reviews looked promising.

We checked in a little bit early and were pleasantly surprised how modern this hotel is.
Check-in was a breeze and the concierge desk texted me an hour later to ensure the room was to my liking. What service!!

The room was a good size with a king size bed, a Nespresso machine, and an automated concierge. We were on the third floor and had views of the city. Luckily it was a sunny day and we loved looking out to the hustle bustle of the city.

Here is video tour of the room:

The location of the hotel is perfect. We could walk to Gastown, Yaletown, and Downtown. Our first stop after check-in was drinks and oysters! Luckily the hotel is steps away from Fanny Bay Oyster bar. We were able to get in for happy hour and enjoyed some happy hour oysters and drinks. Next, we decided to head over to the BC Liquor store to grab a bottle of wine for the room while we got ready for a late dinner. With no kids to chase and diapers to change both of us were able to relax and put on makeup in peace.


We decided to head out to Chambar for dinner, again it was a short walk away. Both of us had never been to Chambar and let me tell you, dinner was quite an experience. Chambar is known for its brunch but the dinner menu was amazing. We had mussels and wine to start. I went for the lamb and my girlfriend tried the wild boar. We were there for almost 3 hours and the food was divine. The portions were large and we were stuffed. The service was amazing. We felt like queens for the night!

Checkout was at noon at Hotel Blu, so both of us slept in (the bed was super comfortable, like sleeping on a cloud !) and we took our time in the morning (something neither of us is used to). We wanted to spend the rest of the sunny day shopping and the hotel was kind enough to hold on to our bags until we were ready to go home. I loved Hotel Blu and would definitely be back.

This was the second time that I had been away from Zara without the hubby. And I have to say that it was nice to be just ‘me’ for a change. I ate, drank and shopped to my heart’s desire. I slept in (Hallelujah!!) !! Sometimes, that’s all you need, one night away to get some down time to feel refreshed and be a happier well-rested momma!

So mommas next time you feel like you need a vacation, just do a staycation and get to know ‘you’ again. What are your favorite spots in Vancouver for a staycation?

PS: Follow me on Instagram @husna_theaccidentalmommy I take pictures of food, coffee art, my daughter and pretty Vancouver scenery

The story behind The Accidental Mommy

I get asked quite frequently about the name of my blog: The Accidental Mommy.

So here is my story and no it’s not what you think it is.

My husband and I got married in June 2011 and leading up to the wedding and honeymoon ( we went to Italy and Greece in Sept 2011), I basically pictured us trying for kids right a way. My parents had started hinting pretty much the day after the wedding that they wanted grand kids. In fact my dad brought over a book on Fetus development one night (awkward I know! )

After our magical honeymoon, Rj and I decided to wait. We were young and wanted to travel and enjoy our life. We didn’t think a baby could fit in to our life at that time.

Fast forward to 2014. For the last year we were trying for a baby. My friends were having babies and my parents were asking me when I was going to give them ‘the good news’. I was asked numerous times at work if I ‘liked kids’, and perhaps the reason I wasn’t pregnant was because I did not like them.

The truth was, we tried and I saw many of my friend’s struggle with infertility. I was seeing a gynecologist to determine if everything was in working order.

And then we had an epiphany! Maybe we weren’t supposed to have kids. Maybe this was the universe telling us to make a change in our lives and prepare to spend summers in Tuscany sipping wine. And I was good with this. Rj and I saw how stressful it was to go through the fertility treatments and the toll it took on people’s marriages. We didn’t want that.

So we made changes, we moved to the city into a small townhouse, from the burbs, and I changed jobs to move up in my career. We were going out, drinking, and enjoying our lives. Part of me was happy with this free life, part of me wondered how long we could do this for.

One typical day, Rj and I were both off and we had spent the day with friends. I had polished off a bottle of wine and was feeling pretty content with my life. We had a Vegas trip booked in the summer with a couple friends and we were looking forward to it. We loved living in the city. Our place was smaller than we were used to but we had purged and sold all our furniture before moving and we loved the location. Everything was going great!

But I had been feeling off for the past couple of weeks. Headaches, nausea, cramps, and exhaustion. So I decided to take a pregnancy test for FUN! I was so sure it was going to be negative that I barely paid attention to it.

The test was POSITIVE! I screamed and yelled for RJ to come quickly. He rushed upstairs in a panic. I showed him the test. We re-read the instructions. We were in shock. Rj decided to rush out and get another pregnancy test. Three tests later, all of which were positive, we were finally convinced that we were PREGNANT!

Once Zara was born and I decided to start this blog, I couldn’t think of a better name than The Accidental Mommy, my accidental journey into motherhood.

PS: Follow me on Instagram @husna_theaccidentalmommy I take pictures of food, coffee art, my daughter and pretty Vancouver scenery

Why I write…

There is nothing to writing. All you do is sit down at a typewriter and bleed.

Ernest Hemingway

I grew up in a pretty traditional Indian household. We watched Bollywood movies and listened to Hindi songs. Dinner was ‘Dal Chawal’ or ‘Chicken Curry with Roti’ and ‘Kheer’ for desert.

And in typical Indian fashion, there were certain topics of conversation that were taboo. We didn’t talk about our feelings. It was ok to watch Bollywood movies where a guy would profess his love for a girl he just met and dance around a tree to prove his love for her but in our house we did not hear those words.

Feelings were left unsaid, unless you were angry. Then the yelling would let everyone know how you were feeling.

As every other teen girl does, I went through the normal growing pains: obsession with boy bands ( hello back street boys!), Michael J fox, Shahrukh Khan, and boys in general. I had what I know now is teen angst. I was rebelling in my own way, which in my house meant I was on the phone too long or read a harlequin romance novel without my parents knowing.

I had all these emotions and feelings inside, that I did not know how to get out. We moved a lot so I did not have close girl friends to confide in. So I started a diary and I started writing. Some times I wrote about my day, sometimes I wrote angry words, sometimes I wrote about what I aspired to be. I wrote because it felt good to put my feelings and thoughts on paper. It was like a cleansing ritual, I could put my day on paper and my heart felt lighter.

Fast forward to present day. I write because it is the only way I know how to express my feelings. I also write because I want my daughter to know how I was feeling when she came into my life. I am writing a history of my feelings and emotions while going through the growing pains of my motherhood journey.

Why do you write? How did you get started? I would love to hear about your writing journey.

My sister in law posted this quote and it inspired me to write about why I write.

She is a talented screenwriter, a busy mom of two, and runs a production company! #momboss

You can follow her writing journey @jody_rae_thompson on Instagram or her FB page.

PS: Follow me on Instagram @husna_theaccidentalmommy I take pictures of food, coffee art, my daughter and pretty Vancouver scenery.

Letter to my daughter: You are 2.5 years old!

Dear Zara

Today you are 2.5 years old! Where did the time go? One minute you were a tiny six pound bundle they placed on my chest and the next thing I know you are singing ‘Bingo’ and running away from me.

The first couple of months of being your mother was tough. My life had changed and I had no control over anything and it was terrifying. I felt alone, but I was never alone, because you were with me. Those times were dark and hazy and I wrote somethings that I feel guilty for but I understand what I was feeling better now.

It wasn’t that I did not want to be a mother, I felt I was incapable of being a mother to you. I have a tumultuous relationship with my own mother and I did not want to follow in her footsteps and disappoint you.

You are my miracle. You opened my heart to a love that is so deep and selfless, that it swallows you whole. Zara, you gave my life a purpose that I thought I would never have.

I am so proud of the little person you are becoming. You are always concerned about papa puggles (our dog) and Cj (our cat). I can see that you have a love of animals. You love to sing and dance and you like to put on little shows for us. You love your little friends and you have a little ‘boy’ friend- baby Nathan. 🙂

You are my whole world Zara and every time you hit a milestone, I am proud and sad at the same time. I am sad because soon you will lose your ‘baby face’ and I miss that face so much! But I know that’s what this parenthood journey is all about.

In my mind’s eye you will always be that little six pound bundle that came screaming into this world and latched on to me. I love you forever my baby Zaza.

Love,

Momma