4 Kinds of Friends Every New Momma Needs

When you have a baby your life is turned upside down. It doesn’t matter how prepared you are or prepared you feel, you will feel overwhelmed. Books do not prepare you for this. Birthing classes do not prepare you for this. If you are like me and have a hard time asking others for help, because you think it makes you look weak- Well you have to swallow your pride and DO IT! 



Here are 4 mom friends ( or non parent/mom friends) every new mom needs:

  1. The ‘I will come over and bring you groceries, cook for you, do laundry and hold the baby while you sleep’ friend: If you are lucky you have one of these friends. This friend comes over and does everything that you no longer have the energy to do. If you know someone who is having a baby soon or just had a baby, try to be ‘this’ friend. 
  2. The ‘I don’t care, you are coming out with me’ friend: As a new mom you need this friend. This friend will help you remember that you are more than just a milk machine. You are a woman who deserves to go out and have fun. 
  3.  The ‘Advice giving ‘ friend: Yes as a new mom you get a lot of advice. But when it comes from a trusted friend sometimes it is worth listening. Have this friend on speed dial for those late night texting sessions. One of the best pieces of advice I received was, ‘ Get a cleaner!’
  4. The friend(s) that do not judge you when you do not return texts or cancel plans: This is a big one. Having friends that understand that any down time you have is spent either sleeping or eating is a true friend.


    Moms you need your support system. You are not alone in this. Don’t be afraid to call your friends and ask for help. You are not weak because you asked, you are stronger because you realized you cannot do this on your own. 

    Mommas share this post with the friends that supported you! And if you are one of the above mentioned friends, kudos to you!  Comment below on how you helped a new mom out. 

    To my friends: Thank you for sticking by me! 

    And don’t forget to vote for me to win the Top Vancouver mom blogger for 2017! You can vote daily till May 26th! Click on the link below. Have a great long weekend mommas. Be good to yourself!
    Vote here!

    Happy Mother’s Day Zara

    This is my second Mother’s Day. The first Mother’s Day was a blur. I was still in the process of learning to be comfortable as a ‘mother’. But this year I feel different. Zara is interacting with me and and wants her momma (most times it is still dada). It’s not just about, feeding, changing and sleeping. So for this Mother’s Day I wanted to write a letter to my daughter, because without her I won’t be here. 


    Dear Zara

    Happy 2nd Mother’s Day to me and you. The past year has had its ups and downs. We went through, teething, sleep regressions and sickness and lots of change. You started daycare. I went back to work. We went from spending everyday together to just Fridays and the weekends. It was a big change for you, but you adapted. Better than I did. 

    You are picking things up so fast. You can now count to 10 and are learning your ABCs. I am amazed at how quickly you have grown into this little human. 

    You teach me something new everyday. You have taught me to slow down and take joy in the simple things of life. You taught me to not take myself seriously all the time. You taught me to sing even if I don’t know the words or feel that I am terrible at it. You are such a happy baby, that regardless of what kind of day I have had, my heart lights up when I come home to you.

    You have encouraged me to follow my dreams and my heart. You have taught me that there is a silver lining on every cloud. All my life I searched for a purpose. My life before you, felt unfulfilled. You gave my life a purpose. Raising you is the single most important thing I will ever do in my life. And I am proud of that. I am proud to be called, ‘Zara’s mom’. 

    I want to say thank you to you Zara for making me a Mother and giving me the privilege to celebrate this day with you. Thank you for choosing me to be your momma. Happy Mother’s Day Zara bear.

    Love Momma  


    Comments, likes and shares are always welcome! How are you celebrating Mother’s Day? 

    And don’t forget to vote for your favourite Top 30 Vancouver Mom blogger today. You can vote every day till May 26th! Thank you for reading and following my journey. 

    Vote Here!

    Vote for Me: Top 2017 Vancouver Mom Blogger

    Its Voting time! Please vote for your favourite Vancouver Mom blogger (ME)!


    Some things you need to know:
    • Voting closes on May 26th
    • People can vote for three bloggers per day.
    • You (and your family, and friends) may vote daily ( TIP: Save or Bookmark the link above and click on ‘Cast your Vote’ OR visit my blog and click on ‘Cast your Vote’).

    You can click here directly to vote:

      Cast your Vote!

       Please feel free to share the link! I appreciate everyone’s support. Thank you from the bottom of my heart! 




       

      Postpartum Depression: The ugly truth

      May is Postpartum Depression month. To bring awareness to this very important topic I wanted share something. It has taken me a long time to admit this and to say it out loud.

      I suffered from Postpartum depression. I have never actually said this out loud. I talk about the ‘dark times’ in various blog posts but I have never actually come out and said it. I felt ashamed of feeling this way. And this got me thinking. Why is it that, even though there is a lot of awareness around mental illness and postpartum depression, why do moms still feel ashamed to talk about it?

      After I had Zara, I had weekly or bi weekly appointments at the doctors for the first 6 to 8 weeks. At each of those appointments, I was asked about breastfeeding, baby weight gain, how many times the baby pooped and peed. I was never asked about how I felt or how I was coping. Sure, I looked fine ( for someone functioning on 3 hours of sleep). But inside I was a ball of anxiety and fear. I kept a brave face, because I was scared of looking weak. I did not ask for help, when I needed it the most.


      I went about my day for months, without acknowledging that something inside did not feel right. I never felt like harming myself or Zara. I felt a sense of hopelessness, exhaustion and loneliness. I felt like I was disappearing. I was going through the motions of day to day life, because Zara depended on me. I struggled everyday to put a smile on my face and go about my day.

      I wish I had reached out for help. But that meant that I had to accept that something was wrong, and that I was not strong enough to handle this thing called motherhood.  I spent majority of the first year of my baby’s life feeling like a failure. I regret that. The first year is special. I can never get it back. Postpartum depression took that from me.

      If you are a mom and are feeling like something inside is broken, speak out. Ask for help. Talk about it. And if you know someone who is a new mom, please reach out. Do something for them without them asking.

      I hope that this blog post will encourage moms that are suffering from postpartum depression to acknowledge and accept this is as a reality and get help. You will be stronger because of it.

      Feel free to Comment, Like and Share. I would love to hear other moms speak up.

      2017 Vancouver Mom Top 30 bloggers 

      I am super excited to announce that I have been selected as one of the Top 30 Vancouver Mom bloggers for 2017. I am honored to be part of such an exceptional line up of Vancouver Mom bloggers.

      Click the link to check out my bio and the other wonderful mom bloggers:

      http://www.vancouvermom.ca/top-30-mom-blogger/2017-top-30-vancouver-mom-bloggers-13-18/

      When I started this blog, I was scared to make it ‘public’ and share it. I was scared of being judged for writing about the dark times after having a baby. I felt ashamed for having these feelings. The blog acted as an outlet for me to get those feelings out on. As Zara got older, I felt the need to share my experience with other moms who are perhaps having the same feelings. I also wanted to write pieces that my daughter could read one day. So I made the blog public. I started to share tips and tricks of what worked for me as well as my innermost feelings. My intention was to make people cry, laugh and sometimes both at the same time. Motherhood has its ups and downs and I want moms (and dads) to know that it is Ok to feel the way you do.

      Thank you to everyone for reading and supporting this passion project of mine. I truly appreciate it.

      In the next couple of weeks I will post instructions on how to vote for your favorite Vancouver Mom blogger (ME!). I am grateful to have this opportunity to write and would appreciate you taking the time to vote for me.

      Thank you for reading! Comments, Likes and Shares are always welcome!

      ‘Me’ Time 

      As a new mom I often received advice from other moms to take some ‘me’ time. I had a hard time understanding what that meant. And I still do sometimes. So here is a list of things I have compiled that should not be considered as ‘me’ time. 

      1. Going to the bathroom

      This is a necessary body function, not ‘me’ time. I am not sure how this got lumped into ‘me’ time. Maybe because when the baby went down for a nap and you realized that you needed to pee so badly and that release felt like ‘me’ time. 

      2. Taking a shower

      I remember in the early days of being a new mom, taking a 10 min shower felt like heaven! I also remember going for days without a shower, because you did not have the energy to wash your hair. But momma taking a shower is not ‘me’ time. It’s part of your personal hygiene routine. 

      3. Grocery shopping

      This one is terrible ‘me’ time. You have a list. You are walking around Costco looking for things on the list. You have to hurry so you can be home in time before your baby wakes up from his/her nap ( Don’t worry you left Dad at home so he can ‘watch’ the baby). Going to the grocery store by yourself is not ‘me’ time. It’s a chore.

      4. Cleaning

      If you are wondering how this even made the list, you will be surprised to know that some people find cleaning relaxing. I am not one of those people. 

      To really understand what ‘me’ time is, I took a full day (8 hours to be exact) and did things for ME that do not fall into the above categories. Here is what I did:

      1. I got a haircut! After 9 months! This felt liberating! It made me feel beautiful. 

      2. I got my eyebrows threaded. After 3 months! That is a long time for someone who had a unibrow to go without threading. Getting my eyebrows done changed the way I looked and felt. I felt pretty.

      3. I got a manicure and a pedicure. I forgot when was the last time I got this done. Ever since Zara was born my nails have been brittle and soft. I usually hide my hands. I have to say that I enjoyed this the most. It made me feel like my old self. 


      4. I went to a coffee shop, grabbed my favorite mocha and read a book. For an hour!! Reading a book at a cafe takes relaxing to whole new level. 


      At the end of the 8 hours I picked up my baby girl from daycare and I felt like a new person. I couldn’t stop smiling. I felt rejuvenated.


      And that’s when it hit me, what ‘me’ time means. It means doing things that makes me happy, makes me feel beautiful, makes me feel like my old self and makes me feel rejuvenated.  

      So mommas next time you take some ‘me’ time and end up doing the things on my what not to do list, ask yourself does it make you feel rejuvenated? Does it make you feel like your old self? And does it make you happy? If it doesn’t stop calling it ‘me’ time and do something that is truly for yourself. Be selfish! You deserve it. 

      I would love to hear what you do for ‘me’ time. Feel free to comment below and share with other mommas who need some motivation to take some ‘me’ time. 

      5 tips to a stress free road trip with a baby

      It’s that time of the year when the urge to get in a car and drive out to ‘sunny’ destinations is high! Last weekend we drove out to Kamloops. We have done road trips in the past with Zara when she was younger and they have gone well. This year we were a little concerned about her willingness to sit in a car for a long period. Here are some tips I have learned along the way to make road trips fun for the entire family.

      1. You know how they say the journey is more important than the destination? Well I was never a big believer in this. I was always in a hurry to get to the destination. With a baby, you just have to slow down and expect that a 4 hour drive will take 5 or 6. Once I trained my mind to except this as a fact it was a lot better. 


      2. Timing is important! We left about 2 hours or so before her nap time. Zara likes to sleep during car rides, so we wanted to use that to our advantage. How ever we knew the drive was longer than her nap, hence we left a couple of hours before. She also had some play time prior so she would get tired. It worked like a charm both ways! 


      3. Plan something fun for the stops. We stopped at a rest stop on the way, to Kamloops. We were surrounded by mountains, and the view was breathtaking. There was a little grassy area and Zara loved running in it. On the way back we stopped at Castle Fun Park, which has a couple of baby rides that Zara enjoyed. 

      4. When booking a hotel, pick one with a restaurant and an indoor pool. Having a restaurant in the hotel made things easy and convenient. Weather in BC can be pretty finicky, so incase of rain we had an indoor pool to spend time at.



      5. When booking a hotel room, opt for a suite. We did not stay at a super fancy hotel. Instead we stayed at a good 3 star hotel so we could afford to upgrade to a suite. We stayed at the Holiday Inn Suites and it was great! This way Zara could go to bed at her normal time, and we could still have some alone time. 


      I know sometimes it can be scary to travel with a baby. To me vacation time is important family bonding time. Rj and I travelled quite a bit before we had Zara. And we don’t want to stop. Our trips are different now. They are fewer and simpler. But the memories are forever.